Dr. Deborah Hecker.com/ published tips for living together separately after the divorce; many suggestions would work well for that time period when a divorce is filed or imminent but neither spouse has relocated: Be civil and respectful at all times.…
Not quite a top ten list: 6 principles for raising healthy children of divorce
Attorney Mike Mastracci shared 6 principles for putting your children first: Avoid playing the blame game. Don’t blame your ex for the divorce, for lack of money, or for the loss of your home or possessions. Your problems with your…
Today is your lucky day & you can’t control it!
CNN shows us the difference between controlling the outcome and controlling how we face the outcome. Peter Bregman writes (excerpt): So here’s the good news: You can change your results by changing your mind-set. When Dweck trained children to view…
Keeping the kids out of it: Jon & Kate plus anger, infidelity, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera
The Detroit Free Press uses the Jon and Kate Gosselin saga at TLC’s “Jon & Kate Plus 8” as a springboard for a discussion about mistrust, honesty and forgiveness. And what about the children? Erin Chan Ding writes (excerpt): BENSKEY:…
Save the environment, one divorce at a time
CNN connects deforestation with weddings and divorces. Arwa Damon writes (excerpt): Newly married couples must plant 10 trees under the program. If they divorce, they must plant 50 others. **** Environmental officials estimate around 50 million trees are needed in…
Make love, not war: how happiness flows from connections and relationships
OPRAH.com shows how connecting with another person promotes happiness. Jessica Winter writes (excerpt): In his view, human happiness derives neither from external validation nor solely from within, but from “between”: through the relationships created by love, work, and “something larger…
Collaborative divorce leads to quantifiable improvements in relationships
DailyCamera.com shows how Working together to separate and divorce leads to better outcomes. Aimee Heckel writes (excerpt): But the collaborative process seems to be more effective than a judge throwing down the gavel. A 2005 Canadian study showed more clients…
Why am I so irritated?: Petty problems sabotage love
Psychology Today Magazine speaks for all lovers when it says, “You’re Driving Me Crazy!” This relationship advice helps us to not sweat the small stuff, but to actually change the way we think about it. Jay Dixit writes (excerpt): 1:…
Dear Abby’s 15 ways to spot an abuser
Dear Abby’s Abigail van Buren lists 15 warning signs of an abuser (excerpt): 1. Pushes for quick involvement: Comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this by anyone.” An abuser pressures the new partner for an exclusive commitment…
Parenting your partner: If it works on your toddler, why not your husband or wife?
CNN and Parenting shows what happened when one mother applied parenting skills to her husband. By Fernanda Moore writes (excerpt): Strategy No. 1: Reward good behavior . . . . Good behavior rewarded leads to more good behavior. . .…
That man is an abuser: early warning signs for domestic violence
The Frisky at CNN shares her story of domestic violence and some tips on how to recognize and avoid domestic abuse. Judy McGuire writes (excerpt): Here are some behaviors to watch out for: Too close, too fast [coming on too…
And of course the cup is empty: When ordering, ask for the engagement ring “on the side”
NBC and WCBD–Charleston, SC shakes us up with the story of Reed Harris and Kaitlin Whipple. Reed tried to make a memory and he succeeded (excerpt): Everyone except the bride-to-be was in on the plan to stash the ring in…
The Bachelor in tatters? Love and hope and sex and dreams Are still surviving on the street
A Pine Rest Family Institute email references the image of marriage and “The Bachelor,” with reality TV’s Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney of Grand Rapids. The Institute notes that some marriage counselors criticize such shows as exploiting the collective hope…
Creating goodwill in marriage: making sense of dollars and cents
CNN and Parenting.com make cents–rather, sense–of fighting over money and how couples can improve their marriage by resolving money issues. Michele Bender writes (excerpt): 1. Remember that your relationship is about more than the bottom line . . . .…
Say the right thing: 10 ways to defuse conflict and promote harmony
CNN and Real Simple starts us off with “10 things to say to keep the peace.” Laurie Puhn’s list includes (excerpt): 1. “Thank you for your opinion. I’ll think about it.” 2. “Is this a good time for you?” 3.…
Real ladies don’t trash talk: How to make your marriage great
The Washington Times advises wives to stop trash talking their husbands behind their backs, with suggestions from Michele Weiner-Davis. Julie Baumgardner writes (excerpt): If you have been talking badly about your husband, Mrs. Weiner-Davis would encourage you to do the…
The 10% solution: Forever young and in love
CNN reveals the science of love: that couples can feel young love for years and years. CNN reports (excerpt): Using brain scans, researchers at Stony Brook University in New York have discovered a small number of couples respond with as…
Find a penny, pick it up, all marriage long you’ll have good luck
SFGate’s Amy Graff provides relationship advice from Elizabeth Dixon from the Kaiser Permanente Employee Assistance Program (excerpt): Dixon says the key is to think of marriage as a bank account. You’re constantly writing checks and making withdrawals . . .…
The kids are alright: But marriage gets better when they’re gone!
The San Francisco Chronicle peaks into our futures: marriage gets better after the kids are out, so says a UC-Berkeley study. Leslie Fulbright writes (excerpt): “We found that marital satisfaction increased as the women transitioned to an empty nest,” said…
Shut up! Shut up! Your marriage improves when actions speak louder than words
CNN and Oprah.com suggest we focus on connecting nonverbally with compassion for each other and with touch, sex, doing things together, and sharing moments together. Barbara Graham writes (excerpt): “It’s the connection, stupid!” exclaims Love, quickly adding that it’s not…