On Being offers 5 different ways to say “No.”
On saying No gracefully, Courtney E. Martin writes (excerpt):
1. No, for now.
2. No, but here are some awesome resources.
3. No, but have you tried our mutual friend?
4. No, I can’t do that, but I can do this.
5. Let me think about it.
Entries Categorized as 'Relationships'
March 1, 2015
On Being offers 5 different ways to say “No.”
January 4, 2015
On Being reminds us “why it’s such an outrageous blessing to have the opportunity to choose our friends.”
Courtney E. Martin writes (excerpt):
So now that the family circus is over for another season and you’re turning your attention to the beginning of a new year, consider this for a resolution: become a fierce talent scout of [...]
December 18, 2014
CNN entices us with the title: “5 ways to be extraordinary.” In discussing five extraordinary people, Brandon Griggs lists these categories:
1. Show courage in a crisis
2. Exhibit grace under pressure
3. Meet evil head on
4. Miracles are within your grasp
5. Share credit for your success
December 6, 2014
On Being highlighted one of my favorite quotes in a post about The Questions We Ask Ourselves.
The words of Rainer Maria Rilke offer a bit of light in moments of blinding darkness:
“Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart… Try to love the questions themselves… Do not now seek the answers, [...]
October 10, 2014
Ozy highlights a Boston University study suggesting Facebook is “a positive, significant predictor of divorce rate and spousal troubles.” Apparently, Henry David Thoreau* was right about true cost: “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”
Anne Miller writes (excerpt):
While previous studies suggested that Facebook and its ilk [...]
September 15, 2014
CNN celebrated Positive Thinking Day (September 13th) by offering “five expert tips to help you think yourself well.” The point is to take responsibility for your happiness and to do something.
Sara Cheshire included these tips (excerpt):
Be aware of your automatic reactions
Catch and reframe your thoughts
Don’t believe everything your mind tells you
Let go of fear
September 8, 2014
The Wall Street Journal focuses divorcing couples on financial planning for “getting unmarried.”
Veronica Dagher offers and discusses these tips (excerpt):
1. Know What You Own and Make Copies. . . .
2. Save and Budget. . . .
3. Watch and Establish Credit. . . .
4. Watch the Timing. . . .
5. Consider Selling the Family Home. . [...]
Changing minds: Listen, show you understand the other person’s side, ask to see your side, suggest another outcome
August 17, 2014
Real Simple suggests how to go about changing someone’s mind.
Amy Spencer writes (excerpt):
The essential rule when trying to convert someone is: Don’t — at least, not at first. “Just listen,” says Dennis Ross [author of "The Missing Peace"] . . . .
. . . After listening, show that you get it.
Next, nudge the other [...]
July 13, 2014
Kim Komando adds 5 things to your To Do List when a divorce is coming, as well as an opening warning to think twice before posting to social media. In the column, Komando has tips regarding passwords, social media profiles, personal information, and the kids.
In her introduction, Kim Komando writes (excerpt):
My father used to [...]
July 5, 2014
Psychology Today included an item from Susan Krauss Whitbourne’s blog, entitled “How to Ask For a Favor.” She offered 7 specific situations commonly involving opportunities for favors, and she identified 4 core principles.
Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., explains each of these Four Favor principles (excerpt):
1. Be honest and straightforward. . . .
2. Don’t [...]
June 29, 2014
The New York Times highlights the financial problems for divorce in your 50s and 60s.
Constance Gustke writes (excerpt):
[M]ore Americans are going through so-called gray divorces and the downsizing that follows.
“There isn’t much time left to enhance portfolios post-divorce,” said Susan Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research. “So you have to [...]
June 15, 2014
On Being includes a post by Parker J. Palmer that, while not intended to focus on Father’s Day, applies to parenting: Have the courage to make small contributions knowing that there is a cumulative power in your imperfections.
Palmer writes (excerpt):
[Leonard] Cohen’s lyrics [in Anthem] remind me that there is a particular kind of courage [...]
May 29, 2014
Maya Angelou (1928 – 2014), heart, soul and voice of “And Still I Rise.”
April 30, 2014
Psychology Today offers us scientific wedding vows.
Samantha Joel’s list includes (excerpt):
1. “I promise to respect, admire, and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the person you wish to become.”
2. “I promise to support and protect your freedom; because although our lives are intertwined, your choices are still yours alone.”
3. “I [...]
April 1, 2014
LearnVest offers a simple budgeting rule to apply instantly to your household. Your take-home pay is allocated among three categories: essentials [50%], priorities [20%], and lifestyle choices [30%].
Laura Shin writes (excerpt):
The 50/20/30 Rule can be easy because instead of telling you how to break down your budget across 20 or more different categories (who [...]
March 30, 2014
On Being highlights the work of Brené Brown and offers us guidance on compassionate criticism.
Mariah Helgeson writes (excerpt):
I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you.
I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you).
March 22, 2014
Senior Judge Bernard A. Friedman issued his decision after trial in DEBOER v SNYDER, Civil Action No. 12-CV-10285 (E.D. Mich. 2014). He determined that the Michigan Marriage Amendment, a 2004 voter-approved amendment to the Michigan Constitution prohibiting same-sex marriage, is unconstitutional.
The lengthy opinion summarizes the holding as follows (excerpt)[citations omitted]:
In attempting to [...]
March 8, 2014
CBS highlights superhero Myles Eckert, age 8.
March 5, 2014
Today’s Love and Logic Insiders Club e-Newsletter featured tips that apply to make difficult conversations in life. The specific context was teacher-conferences, but it noted the interpersonal applications as well.
Charles Fay excerpted some of his father Jim Fay’s advice (excerpt):
• Remember that parents who look angry and resistant are usually hurting inside.
• When we remember this, [...]
February 18, 2014
The TED Radio Hour features insights into happiness research and simpler ways of life. The “Simply Happy” episode includes:
Pharrell and his “Happy” song.
Matt Killingsworth on staying in the moment.
Carl Honoré on slowing down to enjoy life.
Graham Hill on decluttering our lives.
Psychologist Dan Gilbert on feeling happy when things don’t go as planned.
Brother David Steindl-Rast [...]