February 1, 2012The States of Our Unions report, by the National Marriage Project, delves into the health of marriage in America. The Executive Summary includes remarks on being a parent and navigating the marital relationship (excerpt):
In this report, we find that married parents are more likely than their childless peers to feel their lives have a [...]
Posted in Divorce Grand Rapids, Families/Children, Relationships 
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January 11, 2012USA Today’s Ask Stacy reminds us of the three elements of a true apology: “sorry,” responsibility for the choice taken, and promise for the future.
Stacy Kaiser writes (excerpt):
A true apology should consist of three elements: taking responsibility for your mistake, saying you’re sorry and a commitment to never do what hurt that person again. . [...]
Posted in Families/Children, General, Relationships No Comments »
November 20, 2011The Journal of Family Psychology tackles the mystery of “why even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce.”
The research abstract for Justin Lavner and Thomas Bradbury’s article states (excerpt):
Divorcing couples displayed more negative communication, emotion, and social support as newlyweds compared with couples who did not divorce. . . . Overall, results indicate that [...]
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October 19, 2011The Wall Street Journal explains the challenges in finding the right patient therapist fit and how those challenges can be overcome by asking three questions: How would you propose treating me? How long do you think it would take? How do you know what you do works?
Melinda Beck writes (excerpt):
One issue for prospective patients is [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Gentler Divorce, Relationships No Comments »
October 4, 2011USA Today and Health Day reveal the secret to getting through a divorce and coming out okay: self-compassion.
Robert Preidt writes (excerpt):
They [the University of Arizona researchers] explained that self-compassion — a combination of kindness toward oneself, recognition of common humanity, and the ability to let painful emotions pass — “can promote resilience and positive outcomes [...]
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June 9, 2011CNN reminds us, in light of the Congressman Anthony Wiener scandal, what makes an emotional affair.
Ian Kerner writes (excerpt):
In her seminal book on emotional infidelity, “Not Just Friends,” the late psychotherapist Shirley Glass implores readers to “maintain appropriate walls and windows. Keep the windows open at home. Put up privacy walls with others who could [...]
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May 22, 2011CNN provides a number of insights into infidelity (of course in the wake of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver), and what comes next. There also are 3 tips for when you discover an affair.
Amy Wilson writes (excerpt):
[Dr. Steve Solomon] gave this advice:
1) Don’t rush to make any big decisions, especially irreversible ones.
2) Don’t tell [...]
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January 7, 2011The New York Times highlights the role of self-expansion in marriages and relationships: how helping your partner become a better person, makes the relationship happier and more satisfied. The article includes a link to the “sustainable-marriage quiz”
Tara Parker-Pope writes (excerpt):
“If you’re seeking self-growth and obtain it from your partner, then that puts your partner in [...]
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January 1, 2011Business Week reports on a study published in the December issue of the Journal of Family Psychology, linking early premarital sex with “more brittle marriages.”
Ellin Holohan writes (excerpt):
Why would rushing into intimacy impede marital happiness? According to study co-author Dean M. Busby, people who quickly become intimate may end up marrying even if they’re incompatible [...]
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November 29, 2010Latina.com gives us Damarys Ocana’s interview of Donna Estes Antebi, author of The Real Secrets Women Only Whisper, and some insight into the emotional affair (excerpt):
Physical cheating is unquestionably a bigger deal, but the other is a big deal, too, because it so often leads to physical cheating and it is still a betrayal, the [...]
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October 1, 2010USA Todayshows us that women apologize more than men (and want more apologies from men) because they have a different standard for offensive behavior.
Sharon Jayson writes (excerpt):
New research on apologies from Canadian psychologists finds that men have a “higher threshold” for bad behavior, meaning they just don’t see “wrong” the same way women do, according [...]
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September 30, 2010USA Today reminds us that imperfections can “bring life together perfectly.”
Craig Wilson writes (excerpt):
But what I was most pleased to learn is that wabi sabi pertains to people, too — that you accept each other, even when they are “imperfect, unfinished and mortal.” It says so right here in the article.
I like the word “unfinished.” [...]
Posted in Families/Children, General, Relationships, Something Different No Comments »
August 2, 2010The New York Times highlights the “Un-Divorced” who choose to stay separated.
Pamela Paul writes (excerpt):
“Many people I’ve worked with over time enjoy the benefits of being married: the financial perks, the tax breaks, the health care coverage,” said Toni Coleman, a couples therapist in McLean, Va. “They maintain a friendship, they co-parent their kids, they [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Finances/Tax, Relationships No Comments »
July 21, 2010USA Today highlights the rise in people–especially teens but also adults–who send text messages with sexual content or nude pictures of themselves.
Stephanie Steinberg writes (excerpt):
To combat the problem, Sophy says, schools should incorporate lessons about appropriate texting in sex education classes. LG Mobile Phones also launched an initiative called LG Text Ed in which parents [...]
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July 1, 2010The New York Times show how most couples need relationship counseling but are in denial.
Tara Parker-Pope writes (excerpt):
“You don’t wait to see the dentist until something hurts — you go for checkups on a regular basis,” said James V. Córdova, an associate professor of psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Mass., who wrote “The Marriage [...]
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June 16, 2010USA Today shows how “non-resident” dads who don’t live with their children are staying involved with them. Half of all children will spend part of their lives living apart from their fathers.
Sharon Jayson writes (excerpt):
“The point isn’t what fathers do; it’s whether the kid thinks or believes the father cares about them,” says Philip Cowan, [...]
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June 10, 2010CNNasked if your marriage was making you sick and then provided tips for getting better.
Elizabeth Cohen writes (excerpt):
1. Argue well ["What really matters is the quality of your arguments."]
2. Your spouse is annoying — accept it! ["[W]hen people get along, they just accept something annoying about their partner. They don’t try to alter it . [...]
Posted in General, Relationships 1 Comment »
March 3, 2010Common Ground sheds light on four myths about marriage.
Claire Maisonneuve writes (excerpt):
Myth #1: Resolving your conflicts is the key to a happy marriage.
[The key is that partners need to feel like they are accepted for who they are and have a fundamental sense of fondness and admiration for each other.]
Myth #2: Problems of sexual desire [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Relationships 1 Comment »
February 28, 2010Pine Rest is presenting workshops and classes of interests to parents:
Starting March 4–Parenting With Love & Logic (March 4 – April 29): Pine Rest’s Holland Clinic presents an 8-week class for parents of children ages 6-12. Call 616/820-3780 for more information or to register.
Starting March 9–Together We Can: Support Our Kids During Divorce: Pine [...]
Posted in Finances/Tax, Relationships, Something Different 1 Comment »
January 31, 2010The New York Daily News reveals research showing that couples who use ‘we’ are happier than those who use ‘I’, ‘me’ or ‘you.’
Sherryl Connelly writes (excerpt):
“We-ness” is a language that spouses who are better able to resolve conflicts speak, according to new study from the University of California, Berkeley.
The other good words are “our” and [...]
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