Entries Categorized as 'Relationships'

Sometimes supportive, sometimes not supportive: Ambivalent relationships

Date November 11, 2015

The New York times features an item on research distinguishing between the good, the bad and the indifferent in marriages, and their effect on your health.
Tara Parker-Pope writes (excerpt):
That said [the Brigham Young University study], the conclusion that the health benefits of marriage are dependent on the quality of the relationship has been borne out [...]

Staying away from abusers and batterers: tips from the trenches

Date November 3, 2015

CNN published tips on domestic violence from a person with experience in 911 emergencies, relationship coaching and her own troubled marriage.
Tamara Neal writes (excerpt):
. . . But take time to get to know a person in every season to get their full measure. Some partners may be very good at hiding their shortcomings for a [...]

Building relationships: how to talk with your kids . . . your husband, your wife, your everyone

Date October 25, 2015

On Being offers tips for engaging another person in conversation, especially those within your family.
John Sarrouf writes (excerpt):
1. Choose a time and space that works — for all of you.
2. Use questions that invite more than the monosyllabic.
3. Be an active partner, not an inquisitor.
4. Ask for stories.
5. Tell our own stories.
6. Use a structure to ensure everyone is heard.
7. Actually listen.
8. Silence [...]

Parenting plans for divorce and paternity

Date October 7, 2015

The AAML developed a downloadable parenting time brochure labeled “Child Centered Residential Guidelines.” The Guidelines provide some information and options for developmentally appropriate parenting plans. They consider the “best interests of the child,” a standard applied in many States to the family’s facts and circumstances.

Mom, Dad, Junior: Being direct is healthy!

Date August 26, 2015

Love and Logic reminds us that we should share concerns directly, rather than aligning with someone else and dragging him or her into the problem.
Dr. Charles Fay writes (excerpt):
Fortunately, mental health experts have learned a great deal about how to help families operate in healthy, happy ways. One of the most helpful discoveries involves who [...]

Marriage is for Old Folks? U.S. Supreme Court says No, disagrees with Nina Simone

Date June 26, 2015

From today’s United Supreme Court decision in OBERGEFELL v. HODGES Justice Kennedy offers these comments on marriage (excerpt):
. . . Marriage is sacred to those who live by their religions and offers unique fulfillment to those who find meaning in the secular realm. Its dynamic allows two people to find a life that could [...]

Rebounding from hard times: how do I bounce back from adversity

Date May 25, 2015

The June 1, 2015 issue of Time Magazine has an article on The Art of Resilience (page 36), which includes a sidebar with 10 expert tips (page 42).
The top three tips for rising above difficulties, setbacks, stress, loss and suffering were (excerpt):
1. Develop a core set of beliefs that nothing can shake
2. Try to find [...]

The evolving future of marriage

Date April 19, 2015

In case number 14-571 , the U.S. Supreme Court is considering the case of Michigan residents April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse. Arguments are scheduled for April 28th, and a decision is expected by late June.
The briefs submitted to the Supreme Court highlight two issues:
1. Does the Fourteenth Amendment require [...]

How does it feel to be you?

Date April 8, 2015

On Being highlighted Bill Murray’s answer at a 2014 Toronto International Film Festival press conference.
Trent Gillis reports Bill Murray’s remarks as (excerpt):
So, what’s it like to be me? You can ask yourself, “What’s it like to be me?” You know, the only way we’ll ever know what it’s like to be you is if you [...]

when No is better than Yes

Date March 1, 2015

On Being offers 5 different ways to say “No.”
On saying No gracefully, Courtney E. Martin writes (excerpt):
1. No, for now.
2. No, but here are some awesome resources.
3. No, but have you tried our mutual friend?
4. No, I can’t do that, but I can do this.
5. Let me think about it.

Get rich quick: scouting for amazing friends

Date January 4, 2015

On Being reminds us “why it’s such an outrageous blessing to have the opportunity to choose our friends.”
Courtney E. Martin writes (excerpt):
So now that the family circus is over for another season and you’re turning your attention to the beginning of a new year, consider this for a resolution: become a fierce talent scout of [...]

You can do it too: ordinary people acting heroic

Date December 18, 2014

CNN entices us with the title: “5 ways to be extraordinary.” In discussing five extraordinary people, Brandon Griggs lists these categories:
1. Show courage in a crisis
2. Exhibit grace under pressure
3. Meet evil head on
4. Miracles are within your grasp
5. Share credit for your success

In the darkest moments of our lives: Col. Jessep’s “You want answers?”

Date December 6, 2014

On Being highlighted one of my favorite quotes in a post about The Questions We Ask Ourselves.
The words of Rainer Maria Rilke offer a bit of light in moments of blinding darkness:
“Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart… Try to love the questions themselves… Do not now seek the answers, [...]

The true cost of Facebook: your marriage?

Date October 10, 2014

Ozy highlights a Boston University study suggesting Facebook is “a positive, significant predictor of divorce rate and spousal troubles.” Apparently, Henry David Thoreau* was right about true cost: “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”
Anne Miller writes (excerpt):
While previous studies suggested that Facebook and its ilk [...]

Who has the power to change your life?

Date September 15, 2014

CNN celebrated Positive Thinking Day (September 13th) by offering “five expert tips to help you think yourself well.” The point is to take responsibility for your happiness and to do something.
Sara Cheshire included these tips (excerpt):
Be aware of your automatic reactions
Catch and reframe your thoughts
Don’t believe everything your mind tells you
Let go of fear
Find [...]

Top tips for conscientious conscious capital uncoupling

Date September 8, 2014

The Wall Street Journal focuses divorcing couples on financial planning for “getting unmarried.”
Veronica Dagher offers and discusses these tips (excerpt):
1. Know What You Own and Make Copies. . . .
2. Save and Budget. . . .
3. Watch and Establish Credit. . . .
4. Watch the Timing. . . .
5. Consider Selling the Family Home. . [...]

Changing minds: Listen, show you understand the other person’s side, ask to see your side, suggest another outcome

Date August 17, 2014

Real Simple suggests how to go about changing someone’s mind.
Amy Spencer writes (excerpt):
The essential rule when trying to convert someone is: Don’t — at least, not at first. “Just listen,” says Dennis Ross [author of "The Missing Peace"] . . . .
. . . After listening, show that you get it.
Next, nudge the other [...]

Spilling your guts and other concerns when preparing for divorce

Date July 13, 2014

Kim Komando adds 5 things to your To Do List when a divorce is coming, as well as an opening warning to think twice before posting to social media. In the column, Komando has tips regarding passwords, social media profiles, personal information, and the kids.
In her introduction, Kim Komando writes (excerpt):
My father used to [...]

Favors make the world go around: “Social wheels” and relationships

Date July 5, 2014

Psychology Today included an item from Susan Krauss Whitbourne’s blog, entitled “How to Ask For a Favor.” She offered 7 specific situations commonly involving opportunities for favors, and she identified 4 core principles.
Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., explains each of these Four Favor principles (excerpt):
1. Be honest and straightforward. . . .
2. Don’t [...]

From sinking to stearing a new course: Divorce later in life

Date June 29, 2014

The New York Times highlights the financial problems for divorce in your 50s and 60s.
Constance Gustke writes (excerpt):
[M]ore Americans are going through so-called gray divorces and the downsizing that follows.
“There isn’t much time left to enhance portfolios post-divorce,” said Susan Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research. “So you have to [...]