Entries Categorized as 'Relationships'

The true cost of Facebook: your marriage?

Date October 10, 2014

Ozy highlights a Boston University study suggesting Facebook is “a positive, significant predictor of divorce rate and spousal troubles.” Apparently, Henry David Thoreau* was right about true cost: “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”
Anne Miller writes (excerpt):
While previous studies suggested that Facebook and its ilk [...]

Who has the power to change your life?

Date September 15, 2014

CNN celebrated Positive Thinking Day (September 13th) by offering “five expert tips to help you think yourself well.” The point is to take responsibility for your happiness and to do something.
Sara Cheshire included these tips (excerpt):
Be aware of your automatic reactions
Catch and reframe your thoughts
Don’t believe everything your mind tells you
Let go of fear
Find [...]

Top tips for conscientious conscious capital uncoupling

Date September 8, 2014

The Wall Street Journal focuses divorcing couples on financial planning for “getting unmarried.”
Veronica Dagher offers and discusses these tips (excerpt):
1. Know What You Own and Make Copies. . . .
2. Save and Budget. . . .
3. Watch and Establish Credit. . . .
4. Watch the Timing. . . .
5. Consider Selling the Family Home. . [...]

Changing minds: Listen, show you understand the other person’s side, ask to see your side, suggest another outcome

Date August 17, 2014

Real Simple suggests how to go about changing someone’s mind.
Amy Spencer writes (excerpt):
The essential rule when trying to convert someone is: Don’t — at least, not at first. “Just listen,” says Dennis Ross [author of "The Missing Peace"] . . . .
. . . After listening, show that you get it.
***
Next, nudge the other [...]

Spilling your guts and other concerns when preparing for divorce

Date July 13, 2014

Kim Komando adds 5 things to your To Do List when a divorce is coming, as well as an opening warning to think twice before posting to social media. In the column, Komando has tips regarding passwords, social media profiles, personal information, and the kids.
In her introduction, Kim Komando writes (excerpt):
My father used to [...]

Favors make the world go around: “Social wheels” and relationships

Date July 5, 2014

Psychology Today included an item from Susan Krauss Whitbourne’s blog, entitled “How to Ask For a Favor.” She offered 7 specific situations commonly involving opportunities for favors, and she identified 4 core principles.
Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., explains each of these Four Favor principles (excerpt):
1. Be honest and straightforward. . . .
2. Don’t [...]

From sinking to stearing a new course: Divorce later in life

Date June 29, 2014

The New York Times highlights the financial problems for divorce in your 50s and 60s.
Constance Gustke writes (excerpt):
[M]ore Americans are going through so-called gray divorces and the downsizing that follows.
****
“There isn’t much time left to enhance portfolios post-divorce,” said Susan Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research. “So you have to [...]

Forget your perfect offering: The cumulative effect of imperfect parenting

Date June 15, 2014

On Being includes a post by Parker J. Palmer that, while not intended to focus on Father’s Day, applies to parenting: Have the courage to make small contributions knowing that there is a cumulative power in your imperfections.
Palmer writes (excerpt):
[Leonard] Cohen’s lyrics [in Anthem] remind me that there is a particular kind of courage [...]

She says, you too can rise

Date May 29, 2014

Maya Angelou (1928 – 2014), heart, soul and voice of “And Still I Rise.”

Best wedding vows: perfect marriage by following science?

Date April 30, 2014

Psychology Today offers us scientific wedding vows.
Samantha Joel’s list includes (excerpt):
1. “I promise to respect, admire, and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the person you wish to become.”
2. “I promise to support and protect your freedom; because although our lives are intertwined, your choices are still yours alone.”
3. “I [...]

Essentials, priorities and lifestyle choices: How to set up a quick budget

Date April 1, 2014

LearnVest offers a simple budgeting rule to apply instantly to your household. Your take-home pay is allocated among three categories: essentials [50%], priorities [20%], and lifestyle choices [30%].
Laura Shin writes (excerpt):
The 50/20/30 Rule can be easy because instead of telling you how to break down your budget across 20 or more different categories (who [...]

Graceful disagreement: Guidelines for giving and taking honest feedback

Date March 30, 2014

On Being highlights the work of Brené Brown and offers us guidance on compassionate criticism.
Mariah Helgeson writes (excerpt):
I’m ready to sit next to you rather than across from you.
I’m willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you).
[...]

A Journey: From nursing to foster caring to parenting to individual adoptions to family

Date March 22, 2014

Senior Judge Bernard A. Friedman issued his decision after trial in DEBOER v SNYDER, Civil Action No. 12-CV-10285 (E.D. Mich. 2014). He determined that the Michigan Marriage Amendment, a 2004 voter-approved amendment to the Michigan Constitution prohibiting same-sex marriage, is unconstitutional.
The lengthy opinion summarizes the holding as follows (excerpt)[citations omitted]:
In attempting to [...]

What would you do with a $20 bill?

Date March 8, 2014

CBS highlights superhero Myles Eckert, age 8.

Relationship building: Tips for difficult conversations

Date March 5, 2014

Today’s Love and Logic Insiders Club e-Newsletter featured tips that apply to make difficult conversations in life. The specific context was teacher-conferences, but it noted the interpersonal applications as well.
Charles Fay excerpted some of his father Jim Fay’s advice (excerpt):
• Remember that parents who look angry and resistant are usually hurting inside.
• When we remember this, [...]

Secrets to finding happiness in your life and relationships

Date February 18, 2014

The TED Radio Hour features insights into happiness research and simpler ways of life. The “Simply Happy” episode includes:
Pharrell and his “Happy” song.
Matt Killingsworth on staying in the moment.
Carl Honoré on slowing down to enjoy life.
Graham Hill on decluttering our lives.
Psychologist Dan Gilbert on feeling happy when things don’t go as planned.
Brother David Steindl-Rast [...]

Valentine’s and Violence

Date February 13, 2014

Jim Wallis poses some interesting thoughts about celebrating February 14th. He writes (excerpt):
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, our annual reminder to celebrate the love we share in our lives. While many may be struggling through aisles of candy hearts and bunches of roses, I invite you to flip this day of mandatory public expressions of [...]

Why am I not happy? Or am happy? Or not sure? Graphic research findings

Date February 9, 2014

Trent Gilliss at On Being shares a Webpage FX infographic on “The Science of Happiness.”
Gilliss writes (excerpt):
The infographic above may not capture the details of the science, but it jogs a host of questions and insights. A few thoughts to chew on:
Married people are 10% happier than unmarried people, but having a child reduces happiness [...]

Considering Cosby: comedy with commentary

Date February 2, 2014

CNN-HLNtv offers us a take on Bill Cosby’s “10 greatest lessons.”
Colette Bennett’s slideshow commentary includes these life lessons (excerpt):
1. Age is in your mind: “Old is always 15 years from now.”
2. Fear is all that’s stopping you: “Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.”
***
6. How to maintain your integrity: “If [...]

Sincerity and follow-through: How to apologize

Date January 26, 2014

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. helps us understand how to “[master] the art and science of apology” and shows the wonders of reconciliation–for your relationship, your core self, and your overall well-being.
Steven Stosny writes (excerpt):
Apology must:
1. Come from your heart and sympathize with the effect of your behavior on your loved one. (Focus on what it meant [...]