September 29, 2009Richard Forrest Gould-Saltman posted a summary of how a non-custodial parent can maximize parenting time. The summary was written with California in mind, but many of the principles are equally applicable across the country.
Mr. Gould-Saltman writes:
The things you need to do to maximize your success as a parent with custodial time, and the chances [...]
Posted in Families/Children 
2 Comments »
September 15, 2009The New York Times summarizes the research showing how TV guru Phil McGraw and Supernanny Jo Frost have it all wrong: using “I Love You” to control behavior harms children.
Alfie Kohn writes (excerpt):
In practice, according to an impressive collection of data by Dr. Deci and others, unconditional acceptance by parents as well as teachers should [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Something Different No Comments »
July 30, 2009CNN and Parenting.com gives us 11 tips on how to save your marriage from your kids
Teri Cettina’s list includes (excerpt):
Create warm welcomes
Try 20-minute reconnects
Set early bedtimes
Share the load
Encourage your kids’ independence
Revive your past
Put sex on your schedules
Fight as if the neighbors can hear you
Remember: Dad’s way works, too
Be a cheap date
Understand the stages of marriage
Posted in Families/Children, Relationships No Comments »
June 23, 2009CNN & CareerBuilder offer tips for mixing family and career.
Jason Ferrara writes (excerpt):
1. Communicate
Don’t reserve your open dialogues only for your boss. Make sure you’re talking to your family about what’s happening at work . . . .
2. Keep a master family calendar
Have one calendar that lists every family member’s schedule to prevent double-booking [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Relationships No Comments »
June 22, 2009The Wall Street Journal shows how “gatekeeper” mothers can help or hinder the involvement of fathers.
Sue Shellenbarger writes (excerpt):
Some ideas on avoiding the gatekeeping trap:
Skills training. . . . In the hospital after childbirth, Mr. Edwards already knew how to soothe his baby to sleep while his wife recuperated, a good start toward being “a [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Relationships No Comments »
June 21, 2009Parade Magazine shares some fatherly advice from our President.
President Barack Obama writes (excerpt):
. . . When we work hard, treat others with respect, spend within our means, and contribute to our communities, those are the lessons our children learn. And that is what so many fathers are doing every day—coaching soccer and Little League, [...]
Posted in Families/Children, General 1 Comment »
June 17, 2009Attorney Mike Mastracci shares Dr. Paul Wanio’s tips for understanding guilt in divorce:
Nobody’s perfect and that’s OK.
Everyone makes mistakes, even when they’re doing their best.
Divorce is like death in that you and your children need to grieve for the losses divorce entails. Be there for your children, listen to them and try to [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Relationships No Comments »
June 13, 2009Dr. Deborah Hecker.com/ published tips for living together separately after the divorce; many suggestions would work well for that time period when a divorce is filed or imminent but neither spouse has relocated:
Be civil and respectful at all times.
Both parties and their children must be clear that the arrangement is temporary. There can be no [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Relationships 1 Comment »
June 10, 2009Attorney Mike Mastracci shared 6 principles for putting your children first:
Avoid playing the blame game. Don’t blame your ex for the divorce, for lack of money, or for the loss of your home or possessions. Your problems with your spouse are adult issues that shouldn’t be aired in front of the children. Don’t use the [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Relationships No Comments »
June 6, 2009Dr. Deborah Hecker provides these suggestions for understanding and meeting the needs of their children:
The “best interests of the children” does not mean the immediate gratification of the client and his/her need for me-me-me. Over and over again, the focus should be pro-child and centered on building a safety net for the children.
Children must be [...]
Posted in Families/Children 1 Comment »
June 1, 2009The Detroit Free Press uses the Jon and Kate Gosselin saga at TLC’s “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ as a springboard for a discussion about mistrust, honesty and forgiveness. And what about the children?
Erin Chan Ding writes (excerpt):
BENSKEY: You always want to reassure a child that the problem has nothing to do with them. [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Relationships No Comments »
May 5, 2009guelphmercury.com shows that fighting in divorce court rarely produces a real winner.
Joanne Shuttleworth writes (excerpt):
“It’s not for everyone, but for most people, it allows more dignity and control over the matter,” Rinnie said. “With this process, we can sit down and talk about what a good solution looks like. We can get a result that [...]
Posted in Collaborative Divorce, Divorce Grand Rapids, Families/Children 1 Comment »
March 14, 2009CNN and Parenting shows what happened when one mother applied parenting skills to her husband.
By Fernanda Moore writes (excerpt):
Strategy No. 1: Reward good behavior . . . . Good behavior rewarded leads to more good behavior. . . .
Strategy No. 2: Keep it brief . . . . That’s why parenting pros recommend a [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Relationships 1 Comment »
January 15, 2009CNN and Real Simple starts us off with “10 things to say to keep the peace.”
Laurie Puhn’s list includes (excerpt):
1. “Thank you for your opinion. I’ll think about it.”
2. “Is this a good time for you?”
3. “Would you like my thoughts?”
4. “Why don’t we get the facts?”
5. “I need your help. Can you please…?”
6. “Let’s [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Relationships No Comments »
November 18, 2008Love and Logic’s Dr. Charles Fay offers tips for helping kids cope with divorce (excerpt):
Remember that they need to feel free to love both of you. [Dont' talk negatively about the other parent and watch your nonverbal messages.]
Understand that the healthier you grieve, the healthier they will. [Don't get stuck in anger and [...]
Posted in Families/Children No Comments »
August 13, 2008The New York Times presents the flip side of a problem we deal with in divorce on a regular basis: health insurance. [See my related post on COBRA.] Kevin Sack writes about people who “rush to marry” in order to secure health care coverage for their new spouse (excerpt):
In a country where insurance [...]
Posted in Families/Children, Finances/Tax No Comments »
August 12, 2008The Wall Street Journal uses the divorce of Robin Williams and his wife, Marcia Garces Williams, to remind us of the effects of divorce on children.
Stephanie Coontz writes (excerpt):
But a growing body of evidence suggests that normalizing divorce and surrounding it with expectations of cooperative behavior is far better for everyone than the two extremes [...]
Posted in Collaborative Divorce, Families/Children, Mediation/ADR 1 Comment »
July 28, 2008The MayoClinic and CNN helps you help your children cope with your divorce (excerpt):
How to tell them
It’s best if you and your spouse can tell your children about the divorce together. Make sure the children understand that you both still love them and will take care of them. Speak honestly and simply, and skip [...]
Posted in Families/Children No Comments »
July 27, 2008The MayoClinic and CNN suggest we think of sex education as an ongoing conversation and provide advice on getting the conversation started (excerpt):
* Seize the moment. When a TV program or music video raises issues about responsible sexual behavior, use it as a springboard for discussion. . . .
[...]
Posted in Families/Children No Comments »
June 11, 2008NJ.com shows divorcing parents how to rebuild a functioning relationship, all for the sake of the kids. There is mention of collaborative divorce, but the focus is on keeping bitterness and rage from controlling your life.
Kathleen O’Brien writes (excerpt):
Think of the future. Spouses should envision the day they become grandparents, advises Carolyn Ellis, author [...]
Posted in Families/Children No Comments »
