It’s always sad when a good person comes in to meet with me about a post-judgment problem only to discover their DIY divorce locked him or her into a bad, unworkable situation. We’ve seen this many times, and it recently…
Should I loan money to my brother, sister, in law, son, daughter, friend, et cetera, et cetera: Four big questions
USA Today provides some insights into lending to family and friends. Susan Tompor writes (excerpt): How do you know if you can afford to help out a friend or family member without putting yourself in danger of a financial hardship?…
How to know if your family is dysfunctional: And letting go once you know
On Being highlights our tendency toward stressing over family gatherings, holidays included. Courtney E. Martin writes (excerpt): You may have a boatload of angst over something even more basic . . . whether your family even constitutes a family in…
What to say about divorce: Tips for helping your child cope
Divorced Girl Smiling offers 17 things you can say to reassure children transitioning through their parents’ separation and divorce. Jackie Pilossoph writes (excerpt of 3 of 17): There are going to be lots of changes, but here is what won’t…
Sometimes supportive, sometimes not supportive: Ambivalent relationships
The New York times features an item on research distinguishing between the good, the bad and the indifferent in marriages, and their effect on your health. Tara Parker-Pope writes (excerpt): That said [the Brigham Young University study], the conclusion that…
Staying away from abusers and batterers: tips from the trenches
CNN published tips on domestic violence from a person with experience in 911 emergencies, relationship coaching and her own troubled marriage. Tamara Neal writes (excerpt): . . . But take time to get to know a person in every season…
Building relationships: how to talk with your kids . . . your husband, your wife, your everyone
On Being offers tips for engaging another person in conversation, especially those within your family. John Sarrouf writes (excerpt): 1. Choose a time and space that works — for all of you. 2. Use questions that invite more than the…
Parenting plans for divorce and paternity
The AAML developed a downloadable parenting time brochure labeled “Child Centered Residential Guidelines.” The Guidelines provide some information and options for developmentally appropriate parenting plans. They consider the “best interests of the child,” a standard applied in many States to…
Mom, Dad, Junior: Being direct is healthy!
Love and Logic reminds us that we should share concerns directly, rather than aligning with someone else and dragging him or her into the problem. Dr. Charles Fay writes (excerpt): Fortunately, mental health experts have learned a great deal about…
Marriage is for Old Folks? U.S. Supreme Court says No, disagrees with Nina Simone
From today’s United Supreme Court decision in OBERGEFELL v. HODGES Justice Kennedy offers these comments on marriage (excerpt): . . . Marriage is sacred to those who live by their religions and offers unique fulfillment to those who find meaning…
Rebounding from hard times: how do I bounce back from adversity
The June 1, 2015 issue of Time Magazine has an article on The Art of Resilience (page 36), which includes a sidebar with 10 expert tips (page 42). The top three tips for rising above difficulties, setbacks, stress, loss and…
The evolving future of marriage
In case number 14-571 , the U.S. Supreme Court is considering the case of Michigan residents April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse. Arguments are scheduled for April 28th, and a decision is expected by late June. The briefs submitted to the…
From courtroom to the capitol: Fathers rights in custody cases
The Wall Street Journal covers the push for legislation in about 20 states to give fathers more child custody rights in divorce cases.
when No is better than Yes
On Being offers 5 different ways to say “No.” On saying No gracefully, Courtney E. Martin writes (excerpt): 1. No, for now. **** 2. No, but here are some awesome resources. **** 3. No, but have you tried our mutual…
Get rich quick: scouting for amazing friends
On Being reminds us “why it’s such an outrageous blessing to have the opportunity to choose our friends.” Courtney E. Martin writes (excerpt): So now that the family circus is over for another season and you’re turning your attention to…
You can do it too: ordinary people acting heroic
CNN entices us with the title: “5 ways to be extraordinary.” In discussing five extraordinary people, Brandon Griggs lists these categories: 1. Show courage in a crisis 2. Exhibit grace under pressure 3. Meet evil head on 4. Miracles are…
In the darkest moments of our lives: Col. Jessep’s “You want answers?”
On Being highlighted one of my favorite quotes in a post about The Questions We Ask Ourselves. The words of Rainer Maria Rilke offer a bit of light in moments of blinding darkness: “Be patient toward all that is unresolved…
The true cost of Facebook: your marriage?
Ozy highlights a Boston University study suggesting Facebook is “a positive, significant predictor of divorce rate and spousal troubles.” Apparently, Henry David Thoreau* was right about true cost: “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for…
Who has the power to change your life?
CNN celebrated Positive Thinking Day (September 13th) by offering “five expert tips to help you think yourself well.” The point is to take responsibility for your happiness and to do something. Sara Cheshire included these tips (excerpt): Be aware of…
Who do professionals recommend as one of the best divorce lawyers and divorce lawyers in Grand Rapids?
Best Lawyers in America announced that once again, David Sarnacki was selected by judges and lawyers as one of The Best Lawyers in America. He was honored in three practice areas relating to divorce litigation and divorce mediation: 1. Collaborative…