The Christian Science Monitor examines dating on college campuses.
Jennifer Wolcott writes (excerpt):
The topic that’s getting all the ink? Dating – or rather, the lack thereof. For the past few years, a trend has been growing right along with the ivy on those hallowed buildings: to socialize with groups of friends rather than spend time with one significant other.
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So prevalent is the choice today to hang out with a pack of male and female friends – about 5 to 15 at once – that some say it’s more than a trend.
“It’s become a well-established institution,” insists Drew Pinsky, who counsels teens and their parents, and speaks frequently about social issues on college campuses. He also cohosts the syndicated radio show “Loveline.”
Dating on college campuses has been replaced by what’s commonly called “hooking up,” according to a recent nationwide study of more than 1,000 college women by the Independent Women’s Forum (IWF).
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The “hook up” option, he says, is shrouded in mystery. It could mean anything from kissing to having sex – and it almost always follows a night of drinking. “Joined at the hip,” he says, or “married,” as some students call it, is often a result of seeking refuge from the hook-up system. Those who couple off don’t “date” in a traditional sense, but they do study together, share meals, and sleep in one another’s dorms. “Friends with benefits [of sex],” Pinsky concludes, “might work for a while, but it often ends up a disaster because someone – not always the woman – develops feelings.”
College students need to develop a middle ground between hook-ups and joined at the hip, Pinsky says, so they learn how to assess one another and so their adult relationships don’t suffer. “Without that,” he asks, “How do you know who you are or what you want?”