The New York Times recounts the journey of a mother of three boys and her abiding desire for a girl.
Mara Silverman as told to Gillian Silverman (excerpt):
I was in shock. I hadn’t fully realized it until that moment, but I had been envisioning them as girls for months. It was so easy to buy into the technology. Now we felt as if we were part of some cruel cosmic irony: the family that spins for a girl and ends up with twin boys. The reactions of people around us didn’t help. When anyone found out that we would soon be having five boys, they would look at us as if we were the most piteous things in the world. At one point, I got so sick of the stares and the comments — “You’ve got your own basketball team!” — that I called my siblings and friends and said: “Look, I know this is really fascinating for you, but I don’t want to be your anecdote. Stop telling my story.”
But five months into the pregnancy, when I started to feel them both kicking, I began to like the story myself. Once the facts of your life are upon you, it becomes easier to let go of the fantasy of something different. The babies are nearly a year old, and though I still occasionally yearn for a girl, I can’t imagine my life any other way. Plus, boys present a different challenge, one that I like. There are a lot of not-so-great men out there, and if I can contribute to raising five of the menschy, ethical, feminist variety, I’ll feel as if I’ve done something.
I loved this article because it describes my situation – though not exactly. Raising 4 boys now, I don’t know any other way and while I have not lost the desire for a daughter, I don’t mind being the ” story” any more. I had 3 boys and tried MicroSort for a girl. I was very public about it – not minding that others might have ethical criticism – but then I lost her. I turned 40 a week after the miscarriage and so would not have been eligible for MS for another “try”. It was tragic and I never even got my cycle when I became pg with my 4th boy.
I AM MORE OR LESS IN THE same situation. I have 3 healthy lovely boys but would love to have a baby girl. I am considering microsort and am very public abt it because I am convinced and dont care abt others ethical criticism. Where did you do your microsort ?
sorry about your loss
So sorry for your loss kelly. We are going to be using IVF and found out today that insurance won’t cover the genetic testing of the embryo’s so that I can have the daughter I’ve always dreamed of and long for. Have 2 beautiful sons and just want my little girl to complete my family. Wouldn’t mind having twins…as long as one was a girl. I long to have someone to talk to about this because no one else gets it since they don’t feel the way I do. Let me know if there’s somewhere to go to discuss this. Was hoping one of the procedure could be a possb but not so sure now…Plus, I’m in CT and don’t know if there’s anywhere around here. thanks.
Tara in CT