Domestic Diversions

Mommy’s secret, daddy’s money

The Grand Rapids Press
reports on a daughter’s claim for child support brought after 18th birthday.

Doug Guthrie writes (excerpt):
Last week, the Michigan Court of Appeals affirmed a decision by Kent County Circuit Judge Paul Sullivan in favor of the daughter’s claim. The issue of how much is owed now likely will be set for trial in Kent County Family Court. Judge Steven Pestka is assigned to the case.

“This is going to turn paternity cases on their heads,” said Balliet’s lawyer, Amy Rademaker.

Total support would be based on Balliet’s growing income since his 1990 graduation from Ferris State University’s pharmacology program.

“Now, a mom can say, ‘I’m not going to deal with dad, with parenting time or any other of those troubling issues until my kid turns 18,’ and she can file a lawsuit for the total amount in bulk,” Rademaker said. “It will plunge unsuspecting men into debt. This is a crushing blow because of what it means statewide. It’s huge.”

But the daughter says she doesn’t care about legal precedent, only that, “I have a father who doesn’t want anything to do with me.

“I deserve a future like any other child,” Clough said in a telephone interview Monday from the duplex she shares with a friend down the street where she grew up in her grandparents’ home in Fort Myers, Fla.

“I’d much rather have had a relationship with my father, but sometimes it can’t be that way. I’ve never seen him, not even a picture of him. There were times when I wondered why I didn’t have a father, but I don’t hate him. I can say I sort of even understand his situation.”

Strict application of the law, as in this case, means even if a mother keeps a child secret from a father, the child’s right to support from the father cannot be severed by the mother’s actions, said Kristine Mullendore, an associate professor of legal studies at Grand Valley State University and a former assistant Kent County prosecutor.

“Child support isn’t the mother’s, but the mother exercises it on behalf of the child. Support is for the benefit of the child, not the mother,” Mullendore said.

7 thoughts on “Mommy’s secret, daddy’s money

  1. nam

    This is So Wrong. I hope someone finally stands up for a father’s rights. If he did not know because of the mother, he has missed out as well. Why should he be able to be punished now! Somehow this law has to change.

  2. Karrie Arzamastsev

    Yes this is so wrong.. this whole article is inaccurate..
    The man fathered 3 other children as well in college so this was not just a college fling.. How do I know this? I am the mother of Kent’s 3 sons.. born soon after Heather Clough was born..1/1/91, 5/24/89, 6/21/88 (and yes there were paternity tests done to prove it).. Having spoken with Doug Guthrie – another interesting fact came out.. Kent denied that he had any other children.. To deny your children is to deny your own self. Kent was always aware of Heather. Heather’s mother (Becky) TRIED to get paternity tests done but back in the 1980’s little was done with welfare enforcement in a small country town in Michigan in order to establish paternity. This was well before Governor John Engler was in office – enforcing Paternity testing in his process of trying to eliminate welfare as much as possible and making father’s of illigetimate children accountable. How do I know this to be true? Because Kent told me about Heather when she was about 5 years old. Heather’s mother even sent pictures to Kent’s Grandmother – who Kent had been living with at the time.. and trying to contact him after her family moved to Florida. They did everything possible. For the paternity tests on the children Kent and I had.. he was ordered three times to show up for the tests and finally he did after he was threatened by welfare.
    Kent’s own family did not know about our children until they were 4,3,and nearly 2 years old. He has not laid eyes on his children – of his own choice – completely – since 1993.. Though he tells people I won’t let him see them. Which is ironic since, all I ever did was do whatever he wanted.. The three times he did pick them up – in the 2 months that followed our breakup.. He called at his own whim and I always let him have them. The third or fourth visit -he never showed up and I have never heard another word about visiting the children until I took him to court to raise his child support for the first time in 7-8 years.. and saw him at Friend of the Court where he looked at me and said Im not going to fight you on child support – but i AM going to see the children. I said You can see them any time you want.. I have never stopped you – LEGALLY I CAN’T even stop you!
    But then he never came or rang to see them – After our court order for child support was raised he did ring me one other time.. a few months later and asked if he could claim them on his taxes and said he would fight me in court over it. Our son had answered the phone and had never heard his father’s voice since he was an infant. Kent never even asked which son it was or anything. He is a liar. He is a manipulator. You might think im bitter or angry. Im not. In the end im thankful his influence never was put upon our children. Heather should be grateful as well. He is a brilliant man. Well spoken- incredibly educated with a fascinating sense of humor. That said, I have never in all these years been so repulsed as i am now,at the neglect and denial of his very own children’s existence. Its sad to see a person waste himself.. But then again – he has his pharmacy license.. he has his good job and he has his money.. I wouldn’t trade these wonderful boys for for any of his material goods.. I really wouldn’t..And personally, The value of a conscience is immeasurable. Karrie – Grandville, Michigan

  3. Anonymous

    the lawyer for heather twists the truth. Kent said he had no other illegit children, obviously he the 3 boys are legit children. he has not denied that those boys are his, and has paid child support religiously

  4. Karrie Arzamastsev

    Lol Tell me which truth Heather’s lawyer twisted?
    By the way : Illegitimate means that we had children out of wedlock 😀
    Which we did…He did not pay child support for the first 5 years of the children’s lives.
    And he did say in more than one article that he had no other children.
    He denied it before he went to take the paternity test
    He said our last son was not his.
    I never even talked to other men – i didn’t even KNOW Other men
    oy i did not even have time with 4 children 5,3,2,1 years old and going to school and working. He had no reason to say the children were not his to Douglas Guthrie who is a legitimate journalist with no reason to care about this case enough to lie about it. On the other hand, Kent has done nothing but lie to get through life.
    He has 3 DUI’s (Drunk Driving Under the Influence)
    He was arrested on a Federal Offense for disconnecting the smoke detectors on an airplane. He stole drugs from the pharmacy that he was working at.. (He is a recovering addict/alcoholic)
    BTW: Kent paid only when he was completely forced by the State of Michigan. After the children were several years old.
    Now.. You tell me if this is a person most people would believe .. or..a Grand Rapids Reporter who is not related and has nothing to do with this case except as a writer.
    And you tell me, After learning all this.. does Kent sound like such a innocent victim and reliable, honest man with full integrity?
    Give me a break.. So Heather asked to be brought into this world.. and to have no father and no financial support or acknowledgement by her father?
    WHERE IS YOUR LOGIC COMING FROM?
    MY – i will call them MY – (since, at this point if the children saw Kent they would never claim him ) children are now 20,18,17,16 and doing very well. Thanks to the fact that i have a wonderful father and brother and my whole family has helped raise them.

    You know, I want to add one more thing.
    When i took him to court in 2000..
    He looked at me with tears welling up in his eyes
    he said : ” I can’t believe i let so much time go by”
    I felt he had a lot of regret and was sorry
    (he always knew how to manipulate me!Arghh! He even got me to sign off on back support at that hearing after not seeing him for all those years!)
    I said ” you know.. I could help u fix this if you wanna. Just don’t come in and take over they will resent that. Start by sending a christmas card. (it was december 7, 2000) Then maybe a phone call… etc

    I went home and told the boys..
    My Second son checked that mailbox for a month! Maybe Two!!!
    My standing answer to my kids all those years about their father had always been : IM SURE YOUR FATHER LOVES YOU, HE JUST DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SHOW .
    I had always defended that man to them. I knew Kent had had a rough childhood – and a lot of obstacles early on and even into his young adulthood. I always looked past his bad and to his good. He had so much good potential in him!! Even now i tell my kids : your father was so handsome.. he was so smart, he was so funny. Everyone who met him loved him. These things were the truth too!! Children adored him!!
    I can remember Kent looking at me outside courthouse and saying : Do you really think that would work? If i send them a card?..
    I said If i talk to them too, yes, it will work.
    Nothing happened. No Christmas card. No phone call. Even the last son was born on New Years Day. Nothing. 2 months later i got a phone call and he was asking to claim the boys on his taxes. I said no sorry.. He got angry and said he would take me to court about it. I said ok. He lost.

    After that happened, I was done defending him.
    If they had something negative to say I told them they had every right to feel whatever they were feeling about him.

    I hate it when women (or men) turn children against absent fathers (mothers).
    I hate it when women (or men)turn children against fathers (Or mothers) who have visitation rights and use them correctly.
    I think it is morally wrong and reprehensible when adults use children to satisfy their own revenge or spite against another parent.
    My children feel the way they feel on their own accord.
    They have as much regard for Kent as Kent had for them : none.
    I did not put that inside of them. He EARNED that.
    The way he treated them was horrible.. but when they saw how he was treating Heather – Openly and in public – it was bad enough that he said he did not know he had a child..in private to people he knew. But its deplorable that he said it publicly on radio shows & to newspaper journalists. etc.
    My sister and I were pregnant at the same time. (She was married).
    I was pregnant with my third child. I told Kent my sister had a baby girl. Kent said : What did she name it. I said Heather. Kent said: Oh! I have a daughter named Heather. This was back in 1989. Tell me, again plz, what did Heather’s lawyer Twist? Were you THERE? Did u hear that conversation? Kent told me that when he was *With* this girl he had been living in Big Rapids and going to Ferris State University. He would drive to Houton Lake to Be with her. He was living with his grandmother. The girl and her family sent photos of baby Heather when she was born. I asked Kent What did you do with the photos? He said he threw them in the trash.
    If you were, Why are you ANONYMOUS?
    Heather’s issue was not money, by the way. Her issue was that she wanted some acknowledgement from him that he was her father. I talked to her.
    He began an email relationship with her. Then ended it abruptly. She was devastated. He had talked about meeting her. Suddenly he changed his mind. She was crushed.

    There is so much more to this story that no one knows.
    But remember this.
    He has a lot of children.
    All of them Illegitimate.
    (He then went on to live with a woman with 4 little girls for many years – he never married her – but he got a nice Tax break.. They called him Daddy. He lived 10 minutes from his own children but never once saw them since they were 4 and under.) They have since broke up and now he has married. A Woman who is also a Pharmacist – same as he is.
    He lives in his $300,000 house.. Probably still has a dog – he once paid $3000 to have his dog’s leg fixed – but complained about paying more in child support .. where is the logic?

    But the main thing.. There is nothing Heather’s lawyer twisted.
    There is probably more to this that she left out than anything.
    That she did not even know..
    I could go on and on.. but why?
    Seems a good waste of bandwidth to me.

    Look at the Facts
    Then You’ll see the truth.

    ~

  5. Cooley Law

    Sounds like the maniacal ravings of a jilted ex!
    She claims no contact with the man for many years, but knows how much his house costs…whether or not he owns a dog, and how much he spent…whether or not an ex-girlfriend’s children called him “Daddy”…what kind of a tax-break he enjoyed…what his current wife does for a living…etc., etc. Sounds a bit like an obsession, doesn’t it?
    No time for other men? Didn’t even “know” other men? Hmmm. Then who fathered one of the four children she mentions, since she claims Mr. Balliet fathered only three? And is that father in the picture, or…like Mr. Balliet…did he deem the mother too unstable to make a relationship with the children worthwhile?
    Why does this writer brag that the children are all illegitimate? Is this a source of pride for her? At no time did she recognize that this man clearly did not love her, or did she think that child after child after child would somehow change his mind?
    This writer begrudges Mr. Balliet for wanting paternity tests on these children. Since deceit was practiced by both mothers, why would he NOT want proof before paying support?
    Lastly, Heather’s issue clearly WAS money. Why the suit for support if it was anything else?
    She asks another poster, Where you THERE? Perhaps the same should be asked of her. She is advancing as facts things about which she has no direct knowledge. That is called “slander.”
    The writer sounds like an individual who has repeatedly failed in life, who seeks to blame others for her own poor choices. Most of her post is whiny, self-serving, and one-sided.
    Interesting case.

  6. Heather

    Life is so short! Really it is… The ONLY thing that matters is happiness, love, support and living each day to the fullest. Surround yourself with love and be always focused in the reality, that life is but a dream.

    It is very suprising to me how many people will leave comments on this site, not knowing the situation, and being very judgemental! WOW! Not being the person who actually went through the loss of parent. Not being the person who has hurt. Thinking that the child could actually be complacent by the fact that she has been given a little sum of PRESIDENT PAPER! Something of NO VALUE IN LIFE!!!!!!!!! Money is not the solution to lifes problems. Money will not mend a broken heart. The amount of money that was awarded in this case would pay for two years of college. Maybe buy a car that would last a few years. Maybe even pay the rent for a year… It will not, however, replace the void of a lost parental figure. Not having a father in your life, is confusing, heartbreaking, and it will cause alot of problems emotionally. Especially in the teenage years. So unless you have been through that, can you start passing judgement. I am not a bitter person. I do not hold grudges. I am full of love and light! I am proud of my childhood. I am proud of who I am today. My family is great and loves me unconditionally. Do I wish I had a Dad??? You betcha. Only because I am a physical extention of him.
    Any woman who raises a child, on her own, is a beautiful person. Especially if she does right by the child. NO AMOUNT OF MONEY can raise a child. It can only help with the expenses of food, clothes, schooling, etc. Can it help emotional support? Can you buy a depressed child an X-Box and expect a full turn around? Can you give an autistic child a brand new car, and expect no more outbreaks in rage?? This all is just a bunch of jargon! This has been put on the internet so people, who are completley numb, to judge. The only person that can judge is GOD! Whoever you want that to be. Get connected to yourself. In the end its all you really got!!!! Let go of material attatchments, and just be happy.
    P.S. Whoever Cooley Law is… The last sentence in your paragraph of negetive energy is very self serving. Who are you writing that for? The reader who left the last comment? Are you trying to make her feel bad for herself? For her childrens loss? You think it’s easy for a boy to grow without a father! Or, is it you, who are trying to make YOURSELF feel better? That is the real question. And again, why should you even care? Is it affecting you mentally? Do you know the REAL truth, and all its disgusting qualities? Does it help you to sleep better at night, putting people down? ARE YOU HAPPY? Really??? Or are you just fooling yourself! Do you live in an expensive house, that you do not deserve? And have expensive clothes??? Is that what life is really all about? Is that why you have been given such a gift?
    I think it is you who has been failing at life.

  7. Cooley Law

    Let’s get real here. You cannot expect to take your case to the media, have it tried in the (publicly-funded) court system, and not expect people to comment on it. Despite what you may think, there are many who see this for exactly what it is: a bitter and financially-motivated temper tantrum. (“I demand that you see me and acknowledge me! And if you don’t, I”m going to…I’m going to…I’m going to SUE you, that’s what I’m going to do! So there!”) All this case proves is what this man had already made abundantly clear: you can force someone to pay you–but you can never force someone to care about you.
    And as for any comments about the woman whose post “bragged” about her illegitimate children…instead of playing the martyr and blaming this father for every deficit in her life, how about taking some ownership? You have to really wonder about the mental stability of anyone who would have child after child after child with a man who obviously did not want her, and did not want the children. Hmmm…who, exactly, is the irresponsible party here?
    Lastly, “Heather” rants and raves that money is only “president paper,” “no value,” and “not a solution.” But as soon as she realized she couldn’t blackmail and badger this man into a relationship, the first thing she did was put her hand out. (Looks like she and “Karrie” have a whole lot in common!)

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