The New York Times explains how some parent-child conversations are becoming “Instant, and Online.” John Schwartz writes (excerpt):
And now, as families own more than one computer, the machines spread beyond the den and home networks relying on wireless connections become increasingly popular, instant messaging is taking root within the home itself.
Although it might seem lazy or silly to send electronic messages instead of getting out of a chair and walking into the next room, some psychologists say that the role of the technology within families can be remarkably positive. In many cases, they say, the messages are helping to break down the interpersonal barriers that often prevent open communication.
“Conversation between parents and teenagers could be highly emotional and not necessarily productive,” said Elisheva F. Gross, a psychology researcher at the Children’s Digital Media Center at the University of California at Los Angeles. When young people are online, however, “it’s their turf,” she said. “It may be a way for parents to communicate in a language and in a space that their children are more comfortable with.”
Teenagers already use online communications to take on difficult topics with one another, said Katelyn McKenna, a research assistant professor in psychology at New York University. Preliminary results from a study she conducted last year, she said, suggest that “they are able to talk with one another about issues that bother them more readily online than when they are talking face to face.”
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Ms. Parsonnet, a psychotherapist, said that the online back channel strips away some of the parts of face-to-face communication that complicate matters: “They don’t see your face turning red,” she said. “They don’t see you turning cross — all the things that will shut them up immediately.”
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While even quicker than e-mail, instant messages also have the advantage of not actually being instant, Ms. Parsonnet said, because the medium at least gives the user time to compose his or her thoughts and comments before hitting the button.
“You know all the times you wish you’d counted to 10 before you said something?” she said with a laugh. With instant messages, she said, “You have a built-in counting-to-10.”
I think that I.M.’s dealing with real life issues would be a mistaken media device in dealing with sex talk with teens. Has anyone reading this visited a yahoo or aol chat site? Millions of unqualified people begging to find that singular needing voice out there that would grant them power over another; that is what IM counseling trains kids for, dependancy on untrusted voices. Whoever is reading this email, try it for yourself. Visit a typical yahoo or aol chatroom in a teen’s chatroom. I declare that the best way to teach your children about sex is through verbal communication. It enhances intimacy toward “loved ones” and reinforces trust later on in life, unlike the IM/mail theory.