I keep finding news of males acting out sexually and violently. It seems that guys get bad news for such behavior. The news gets degendered and reported as criminal behavior by offenders. Men aren’t born to commit such acts, but the male socialization process conditions men for this type of acting out. Unfortunately, a great number of men, and yes, even “successful” and prominent men engage in such acting out. For example, the prevalence of men using women as toys to play with makes a lot of people believe that this is part of being male. I disagree. Men simply need to evolve. The 21st century is here, and the days of wine, women, and brawn are out, and in are temperence, respect, and mindfulness. The use of women as objects for sexual gratification is disrespectful, and a sign of underdevelopment in our humanity. Remember, bike racers use to smoke cigarettes during races believing it expanded their lung capacity heightening their performance. We need to change our thinking and behavior on the function of sexuality in our lives. The use of women solely for sexual pleasure while betraying your intimate partner is problematic. It doesn’t nourish the soul or relationships. In fact, the obsessive pursuit of sexual stimuli for some men can lead to sexual addction.
Sexual addiciton is a toxic process to our character and relational development. When a person suffers from this or other forms of sexual acting out behavior, they need professional help. There is effective treatment for such problems. It is important that men get the help they need, and others begin recognizing this as a social malady rather than “guys being guys”.
We as men can evolve and be strong, and courageous contributors to a world that is in desperate need of more peace, love and understanding within gender, race, sexual orientation, and cultures. We need good men to rise up and take charge of their lives, get the help they need, and encourage others to do the same, so we can move forward in the new millenium.