CNN/Oprah helps us differentiate between fantasy love and real love.
Martha Beck writes (excerpt):
Want an honest and long lasting relationship? Make sure you and your partner can recite these five statements.
I can live without you, no problem
. . . “I can live without you” is an assurance that sets the stage for real love.
My love for you will definitely change
. . . A love that is allowed to adapt to new circumstances is virtually indestructible.
You’re not everything I need
Sacrificing all our individual needs doesn’t strengthen a relationship. Mutually supporting each other’s personal growth does.
I won’t always hold you close
. . . [T]rue love is based on setting the beloved free to make his or her own choices.
You and I aren’t one
. . . Dare to explore your differences. Agree to disagree. If you’re accustomed to disappearing, this will allow you to see that you can be loved as you really are. . . .