The Love and Logic newsletter encourages parents to avoid the tendency of kids to throw one parent’s house rules against the other. L&L also reassures us that children can have two homes and still grow into healthy adults.
Dr. Charles Fay writes (excerpt):
Smart parents know that kids are capable of adjusting to different styles of parenting, and that children will eventually…as adults…come to respect the parent who is the healthiest.
When their child says something like, “Mom gives me candy before dinner,” these wise parents don’t call their ex and accuse. . . . They just smile and answer, “You noticed that your parents are different. I allow dessert after dinner.”