Val Farmer, a clinical psychologist with MeritCare in Fargo, North Dakota, published his top ten list for having a really great marriage (excerpt):
1. Honor your vows. In the ups and downs of life, the only thing you have to fall back on is your character and honor in keeping the promises couples make to each other at the time of marriage. . . .
2. Show love through actions on a daily basis. Anticipate and meet his or her emotional needs through daily acts of love and consideration. Be there for each other . . . .
3. Express affection, admiration, appreciation and fondness. . . .
4. Share your lives through emotional intimacy. Create and share a private world where you confide deeply about life, joys, fears, hurts, frustrations and challenges. . . .
5. Enjoy each other’s companionship. Spend time together in mutually enjoyable activities. Laugh and play together. . . .
6. Keep romance alive. Make your marriage full of special surprises. . . .
7. Operate as a team. Share household responsibilities as equals. Parent as a team. . . .
8. Manage your personal stress. . . . Your home and marriage should be a haven and a place of peace.
9. Be quick to apologize and forgive. . . . To forgive is a choice. Trust will be earned through time and change in behavior.
10. Develop skills for resolving conflict. Conflict is good. Conflict shows engagement. . . . However, the process should be respectful and courteous.
Those rules you’ve stated, they’re hard to follow. But I guess if the couple really wants to make the marriage work, they have to those things you’ve mentioned. In the end though, it’s not the prescribed rules of marriage that makes it work. The couples themselves need to find ways to make them work.