The New Tory Times challenges some of my assumptions about online dating in this article. Of course, it confirms others.
David Brooks writes (excerpt):
The Internet slows things down.
If you’re dating in the Age of the Hook-Up, sex is this looming possibility from the first moment you meet a prospective partner. But couples who meet through online dating services tend to exchange e-mail for weeks or months. Then they’ll progress to phone conversations for a few more weeks. Only then will there be a face-to-face meeting, almost always at some public place early in the evening, and the first date will often be tentative and Dutch.
Online dating puts structure back into courtship. For generations Americans had certain courtship rituals. The boy would call the girl and ask her to the movies. He might come in and meet the father. After a few dates he might ask her to go steady. Sex would progress gradually from kissing to petting and beyond.
But over the past few decades that structure dissolved. And human beings, who are really good at adapting, found that the Internet, of all places, imposes the restraints they need to let relationships develop gradually. So now 40 million Americans look at online dating sites each month, and we are seeing a revolution in the way people meet and court one another.
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But despite all the crass competition, all the marketing, all the shopping around, people connect. Studies by Katelyn McKenna at N.Y.U. and others indicate that Internet relationships are at least as powerful as relationships that begin face to face. Many people are better at revealing their true selves through the keyboard than through conversation. And couples who slow down and prolong the e-mail phase have a better chance of seeing their relationships last than people who get together more quickly.
“Couples who slow down and prolong the e-mail phase have a better chance of seeing their relationships last than people who get together more quickly.”– My friend engaged in online dating. The guy lives in Florida, my friend in California. After a month of emailing, phone calls, and text messages they decided to meet up. At that time, they were already a couple. They went to have coffee. My friend also says they went to watch a movie. They made out. Actually, they even had sex. The day after, the guy didn’t make his presence felt anymore. I advise others to be really careful when dealing with strangers. Look at what happened to my friend. All the while, she thought she found her soulmate. What she didn’t know, the guy only saw her as a booty call.