CNN and Oprah.com suggest we focus on connecting nonverbally with compassion for each other and with touch, sex, doing things together, and sharing moments together.
Barbara Graham writes (excerpt):
“It’s the connection, stupid!” exclaims Love, quickly adding that it’s not me personally she’s calling stupid. “Everyone — men, women, myself included — needs to learn that before we can communicate with words, we need to connect nonverbally. We can do that in simple ways, through touch, sex, doing things together. The deepest moments of intimacy occur when you’re not talking.”
Stosny puts it this way: “We need to stop trying to assess the bonding verbally and instead let the words come out of the bonding.” Interestingly, he adds, “When couples feel connected, men want to talk more and women need to talk less, so they meet somewhere in the middle. Being aware of the fear-shame dynamic helps.”