Shipley tells you how to read minds in “Stop the Guessing Game.”
Deb Dowdle writes (excerpt):
What do you really need and how do you best communicate it?
Learning to communicate our specific needs and wants is a learned skill. And it is an absolutely critical
part of effective communication. So, what’s it going to take to learn this skill?
First, start with YOU! . . . Become as self-assured as possible, knowing you’re capable of being and becoming what you need to be in order to create successful relationships.
Learn to effectively manage your emotions and thoughts. Live everyday by your personal set of unchanging “core values”. These will define who you are and give you confidence. Take full responsibility for your stewardships, keeping your promises to yourself and others. And learn to cope with change gracefully. . . .
Second, reach out to others. Develop an interest in learning about the personalities of others
and how they interact. Become concerned about their emotional needs, goals and perspectives. Learn to listen empathically (without the need to respond or relate and try to feel what they’re saying.). You must truly care about other if you wish to earnestly serve them!
Third, time to make a difference! Before you decide to start expressing your needs and wants to
others, account to yourself if you have a sincere desire to see others receive the same courtesies.
Evaluate yourself with the questions* below. Remember, it takes a lifetime to feel comfortable to
give a resounding YES to any of them. But aspiring to becoming this kind of person will open the doors
to creating an environment where your desires are met as well.
[*Questions]
Can you quietly listen to someone else express themselves without interrupting?
Can you ask probing questions to help others better articulate what they are trying to communicate?
Can you praise someone else without feeling that you are devaluing yourself?
Can you give constructive feedback to “lift” others?
Are you willing to take the time to foster the needs of someone else?