Preempting is a concept that Donald Saposnek discusses at length in his book “Mediating Child Custody Disputes.” The idea is to give useful information which lowers the parents’ resistance, especially as it relates to what children need following divorce. The information can set the context for fruitful coparenting discussions and negotiations. Saposnek’s examples range from parental conflict to a child’s coping strategies, from developmental changes to being open to flexibility, from introducing new partners to stepparents, and more.
The particular examples that Saposnek provides are highly instructive, and I have my favorites. I do not, however, find it helpful to develop Saposnek’s recommended “preempting monologue” practiced as a “seamless lecturette” that induces an “almost trancelike array of accurate and useful information that seeds the unconcscious mind.” I find it more helpful to consider one or more preempting statements that might be of assistance to the parents I am working with. If effective screening is employed or if information is derived from attorneys prior to the mediation session, some statements can be used when a topic is first introduced. Other statements can be used to focus the parents back to the issue under discussion. Whether to preempt or to reorient, Saposnek’s suggestions are worth knowing.