Steven Stosny, Ph.D. helps us understand how to “[master] the art and science of apology” and shows the wonders of reconciliation–for your relationship, your core self, and your overall well-being.
Steven Stosny writes (excerpt):
Apology must:
1. Come from your heart and sympathize with the effect of your behavior on your loved one. (Focus on what it meant to your loved one, not on how you would have been affected by it.)
2. State how important your partner’s wellbeing is to you.
3. State how sorry you are that you’ve done something to hurt your loved one and/or break your connection.
4. Offer recompense: “How can I make it up to you?”
5. If the offense is recurring, describe an action-plan to prevent future repetition of the offending behavior (which violated your core value to the extent that it hurt your partner or your relationship).