The MayoClinic and CNN helps you help your children cope with your divorce (excerpt):
How to tell them
It’s best if you and your spouse can tell your children about the divorce together. Make sure the children understand that you both still love them and will take care of them. Speak honestly and simply, and skip the ugly details.
Use simple phrases like: “Your mom (or dad) and I have been having trouble getting along, so we think it’s best for us to live apart.”
Anxiety and anger
Initially, children may be most interested in concrete things, such as where they’ll live and what school they’ll attend. Try to make arrangements that disrupt their routines as little as possible. Even if things must change drastically, establish new routines and then stick to them. This helps children of all ages feel more secure.
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Keep kids out of the fight
How your child adapts to your divorce is largely dependent on how you and your spouse act, especially toward each other.
* Never force your children to choose sides.
* Don’t use your children as messengers or go-betweens.
* Don’t argue or discuss child support issues in front of your children.
* Avoid pumping children for information about the other parent.
* Don’t use your child as a pawn to hurt the other parent.
Most importantly, don’t speak badly about your ex-spouse to your children. Children realize that they are a mixture of both parents. If you continually criticize their other parent, it’s easy for children to start doubting themselves.