Since The Grand Rapids Press featured an article on black men killing black men, people have weighed in with their analyses of the problem. They’ve presented a myriad of causes such as poor education, poverty, ineffective parenting, racism, etc., but the most common denominator, male socialization, isn’t discussed.
Gender socialization is the process in which young people learn how they are supposed to think, feel, and behave as men and women. There are many causative variables discussed in the analysis of violent criminal behavior, but the one that remains invisible is the toxicity of male socialization.
The fact is that men, not women, across all socio-economic levels, races, families, and cultures are the primary perpetrators of violent crime. This illuminates the power of gender socialization. If poor education was the primary cause of black criminal behavior, then why are most of our homicides committed by men?
If poverty is the primary cause of violent black criminal behavior then why don’t we have as many females in prison as men? If a dysfunctional family with ineffective parenting, abuse and neglect is the primary cause then why do men account for 90 percent of the domestic violence offender population? If racism is the primary impetus for black male criminal behavior, then why are white males committing violent crime at about the same male to female ratio as their black counterparts?
If “kids are killing kids” in the school shootings then why have all of the shooters been male students? In addition, most of these boys were also white students in intact families attending good suburban schools. Male socialization is the missing link in the analyses of black male violent crime and violent crime in general.
Boys aren’t born brutes or beasts genetically programmed to be violent. Rigid male socialization is a social toxin to men’s humanity and the most vulnerable in our society will manifest symptoms of the toxin.
Think about air pollution. Air pollution is a physical toxin to asthmatic patients. These patients become symptomatic, manifesting complications in breathing when in polluted climates.
Individuals raised in environments with racism, poverty, dysfunctional families, unemployment, and poor education end up psychologically asthmatic, vulnerable to social toxins such as male socialization. These boys feel vulnerable, powerless, and marginalized. However, the male code tells them to “tough it out,” “suck it up,” and “don’t talk about it.”
Manliness is equated with being tough, strong, aggressive, powerful, and always in control. Boys get called names such as weak, wuss, or sissy when they behave outside the masculine box. They get disrespected and ostracized. The pressure to fit in is huge. The result is that boys squash their humanity.
Men look for ways to prop themselves up to appear more powerful, more intimidating, more competitive, essentially, more manly. Affluent white boys may be able to do this with money, cars, houses, degrees, and social status, while those less fortunate may be left to prove their masculinity with violence, guns and even murder.
In effect, the male socialization process teaches men to externalize painful emotions and avoid states of vulnerability. Consequently, some men act out their rage and pain onto others in acts of criminal violence. After all, to kill someone is the ultimate act of control and power.
We also don’t talk about the broader impact of male training on our boys. It is frightening to see how poorly our boys are adapting and fitting into society. Not only are they more violent, but also they are less likely than girls to go to college, more likely to drop out of high school or be placed in special education, and twice as likely than girls to die in a car accident.
We need to continue working to improve education, unemployment, parenting, and racism. We also need to raise our boys to be more fit, more humane. If we give them permission to talk, feel, and emotionally connect to others they are less likely to loose their souls in oppressive conditions. The enemies of violence are empathy, compassion, sensitivity and humility; so let’s encourage this in boys too.
We need to stop leaving the issue of male socialization out of our discussions on violent behavior. And, let’s work on socializing our boys to stay in touch with their humanity. Then, and only then, do boys have a chance to refrain from violent behavior in difficult circumstances and a challenging world.
“Why are most of our homicides committed by men?� Could it be that boys are trained from birth to “rescue girls in distress, often at the risk of their own lives? Could it be that they are conditioned to be the “knight in shining amour� so that it is better to kill another man that insults a woman verbally then to let it go? After all, we do know a woman’s “honor� is more important then a man’s life don’t we?
“If poverty is the primary cause of violent black criminal behavior then why don’t we have as many females in prison as men?� Some of this resorts back to answer #1 above. Men are expected to provide for women. If they do not, they are called all sorts of names which would be termed abuse if said to a woman. Many times women say they do not want men to commit a crime for them, but they sure do not mind spending the money although they know it came from a crime. Is not this sending a double message to the man?
If a dysfunctional family with ineffective parenting, abuse and neglect is the primary cause then why do men account for 90 percent of the domestic violence offender population? The fact is that it does NOT….unbiased research shows domestic violence is about equal. The only sources that show 90+ percent are feminist sources that have much to gain …sort of like asking the KKK about Black crime.
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm
If racism is the primary impetus for black male criminal behavior, then why are white males committing violent crime at about the same male to female ratio as their black counterparts?
If “kids are killing kids� in the school shootings then why have all of the shooters been male students? In addition, most of these boys were also white students in intact families attending good suburban schools. Male socialization is the missing link in the analyses of black male violent crime and violent crime in general.
Male socialization is NOT the missing link. Fatherless homes is the missing link yet our society is producing fatherless homes in record numbers. Your 90% stat for domestic violence only adds to this record number as it places all the blame on men. Thus saying men = bad women = good.
Boys aren’t born brutes or beasts genetically programmed to be violent. Rigid male socialization is a social toxin to men’s humanity and the most vulnerable in our society will manifest symptoms of the toxin. Or could it be the MISANDRY which is well evident in this page that is the problem. Yes boys are often taught these things..but remember mothers do most of the teaching and most of the single parent homes are mother only homes…thus going back to the fatherless home dilemma stated above.
Individuals raised in environments with racism, poverty, dysfunctional families, unemployment, and poor education end up psychologically asthmatic, vulnerable to social toxins such as male socialization. These boys feel vulnerable, powerless, and marginalized. However, the male code tells them to “tough it out,� “suck it up,� and “don’t talk about it.�
I believe the MISANDRY is far more a problem then this. When a boy only hears how great females are and how evil males are, they can not help but have a low self esteem. Our society has shown loud and long that it values the female gender far more then the male. We spend more money on saving whales then saving males. Most of our boys are well aware that society considers males…expendable.
Men look for ways to prop themselves up to appear more powerful, more intimidating, more competitive, essentially, more manly. Affluent white boys may be able to do this with money, cars, houses, degrees, and social status, while those less fortunate may be left to prove their masculinity with violence, guns and even murder.
They may be able to put on a “macho� front, but deep within, most of our boys are suffering greatly as our society essentially tells them females are superior in every way. Our boys are being told that all the evils of our world at the fault of men. They are told women can do no evil and men can do no good. Your report has done nothing to correct this idea.
In effect, the male socialization process teaches men to externalize painful emotions and avoid states of vulnerability. Consequently, some men act out their rage and pain onto others in acts of criminal violence. After all, to kill someone is the ultimate act of control and power. Often this violent behavior is a result of the feelings of hopelessness and despair brought on by the MISANDRY in our society. Most of the time, the rage is on another man because he sure could not harm someone that is so good to society so why not take it out on someone that is no good…another male. Of course, some take it out on women because they falsely see that it is a woman’s fault that this condition exist. Neither view is correct. The correct view is that men and women are of equal VALUE but different.
We also don’t talk about the broader impact of male training on our boys. It is frightening to see how poorly our boys are adapting and fitting into society. Not only are they more violent, but also they are less likely than girls to go to college, more likely to drop out of high school or be placed in special education, and twice as likely than girls to die in a car accident.
Male training on our boys? You got to be kidding. Part of the problem is that our boys do not have any male role models. In areas where we do not have many women working, we have all sorts of affirmative action to balance it out. Why do we not do this in our schools to get more male teachers so that our boys have a male role model? Of course with all of the false charges of abuse these men would face, they would have to be insane to want the job.
We need to continue working to improve education, unemployment, parenting, and racism. We also need to raise our boys to be more fit, more humane. If we give them permission to talk, feel, and emotionally connect to others they are less likely to loose their souls in oppressive conditions. The enemies of violence are empathy, compassion, sensitivity and humility; so let’s encourage this in boys too.
One of the largest factors in this..is MISANDRY. Lets start teaching our boys that men are as important as women.
We need to stop leaving the issue of male socialization out of our discussions on violent behavior. And, let’s work on socializing our boys to stay in touch with their humanity. Then, and only then, do boys have a chance to refrain from violent behavior in difficult circumstances and a challenging world
We need to get DADS back in the home. This involves giving men an equal say in the lives of THEIR children from conception on up. Most of the time a father is more important as a wallet…not as a DAD!
Pastor Ken Deemer
Director Shattered Men
http://www.shatterdmen.com
“Ninety percent of divorced fathers have less than full access to their children.” Jonathan M. Honeycutt, Ph.D.(c), M.P.A., M.A., I.P.C. Director of Research, Clinical & Consulting Psychotherapist, National Institute for Divorce Research, Panama City, Florida.
Children from fatherless homes account for:
63% of youth suicides. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services, Bureau of the Census).
71% of pregnant teenagers. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services)
90% of all homeless and runaway children.
70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (DOJ, Special Report)
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders. (Source:Center for Disease Control).
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger. (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26).
71% of all high school dropouts. (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools).
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers. (Source: Rainbows for all God`s Children).
85% of all youths sitting in prisons. (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections
I agree with you that “individuals raised in environments with racism, poverty, dysfunctional families, unemployment, and poor education” are likely to have some serious problems, but I think it’s oversimplistic to say that violent men are that way to primarily to patriarchal socialization (being male). I agree that socialization a factor. It must be said that most men are not violent. In a sense, the socialization you talk about lays the groundwork for such male violence to take place. In some ways, some men are violent because this society allows them to be. Battered women’s and rape victim’s testimony is often not believed, and there is the problem of some assuming that women frequently lie about abuse (which is not true).
I definitely agree with you here: “We need to continue working to improve education, unemployment, parenting, and racism. We also need to raise our boys to be more fit, more humane. If we give them permission to talk, feel, and emotionally connect to others they are less likely to loose their souls in oppressive conditions.”
Regarding your commenter, and you probably already know this, it is not true that men and women are equally abusive. The “equal abuse” statistics thrown around most often employ the Conflict Tactic Scales by Straus, Gelles, and Steinmetz. Dr. Richard Gelles took those to task who misrepresented the CTS in this paper:
http://thesafetyzone.org/everyone/gelles.html
Also, “fatherlessness” (code for “single- and divorced-mother homes) does not cause rampant social pathology. First off, according to Hetherington, children in 75% of divorces turn out just fine. Secondly, problems experienced in single- and divorced-mother homes may be traced back to poverty and the lack of an adequate social support system. I’ve debunked many myths about “fatherlessness” on my web site:
http://members.aol.com/asherah/fatherlessness.html
I like your writing. You put forth a good argument. I would add that, the nature /nature debate is dead. Both things are contributing to human development simultaneously. The human nervous system has evolved to grow in close proximity to another. We are literally hardwired to connect. Any disruption in the attachment process, without therapeutic intervention, can lead to pathology. Remember Harlow and his work with monkeys and wire surrogate mothers? He demonstrated conclusively what happens to primates that are prevented from attaching properly to an attuned caregiver.
You talk shit every crime is commited by someone without Nordic dna does it and I’m Blonde hair blue eyed and look like Dolph and every criminal IS dark haired look at the number of people who are like that and then move to eye colour it’s a genetic trait you idiot.the author of the article is a loser.Oliver Bell of 63 Empress Drive chislehurst kent is a criminal ook it up on Google Earth and tell the world ia criminal who’s harassed me and makes acial abuse because i look out of my window and it’s to say I’m a Mongol and he thinks that Mongols are bad and he’s dark so tell all dark people he’s slagging me off using the gesture he’s due to go to prison if I get my way for witholding information about a crimes and he’s slandered a lot of people and threatened me and his friends aren’t much better and they conspire with a balding freak to get out of going to jail. His mother has promised to get rid of them which proves I’m right.