Domestic Diversions

Sticks and stones

Sun Herald reminds us that kids appreciate respectful speech.
Gregory Ramey writes (excerpt):
Words are extremely powerful. Words can hurt, soothe, excite or calm. Our language can convey disdain and disrespect, or courtesy and civility.

Let’s say you object to another person’s point of view. You can say, “Your ideas suck” or “I disagree with your ideas.” When you are very upset at your spouse, does it matter whether you say, “Shut up” or “Let’s not talk about this right now”?

It really does matter how you express your thoughts and feelings. Words are a reflection of good manners, and some words are better than others. Good manners help us get along with each other. They indicate a thoughtful and courteous way of relating to each other. They show respect for another person.

We live in a culture that seems so focused on encouraging people to express their feelings. Aren’t there times when we shouldn’t express the intensity of our feelings, and instead communicate in more moderated and muted tones? Maybe adults and young people need to stop expressing their feelings in whatever way feels right at the moment.

I’ve been very strict with this language rule in working with a number of young people of various ages and backgrounds. Here’s the good news: Young people respect such expectations and change their behavior accordingly.

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