The menschy, ethical, feminist variety

Written on November 2, 2003 by David C. Sarnacki

The New York Times recounts the journey of a mother of three boys and her abiding desire for a girl.

Mara Silverman as told to Gillian Silverman (excerpt):
I was in shock. I hadn’t fully realized it until that moment, but I had been envisioning them as girls for months. It was so easy to buy into the technology. Now we felt as if we were part of some cruel cosmic irony: the family that spins for a girl and ends up with twin boys. The reactions of people around us didn’t help. When anyone found out that we would soon be having five boys, they would look at us as if we were the most piteous things in the world. At one point, I got so sick of the stares and the comments — “You’ve got your own basketball team!” — that I called my siblings and friends and said: “Look, I know this is really fascinating for you, but I don’t want to be your anecdote. Stop telling my story.”

But five months into the pregnancy, when I started to feel them both kicking, I began to like the story myself. Once the facts of your life are upon you, it becomes easier to let go of the fantasy of something different. The babies are nearly a year old, and though I still occasionally yearn for a girl, I can’t imagine my life any other way. Plus, boys present a different challenge, one that I like. There are a lot of not-so-great men out there, and if I can contribute to raising five of the menschy, ethical, feminist variety, I’ll feel as if I’ve done something.

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